It all started with MTV’s Real World, which I joined midway
through the first season over thirteen years ago.
There was something embarrassingly intriguing about watching the
story of seven strangers, picked to live in a house, and finding
out what happens when people stop being polite and start getting
real…The Real World.
I likened my fascination with it to people slowing down on the
freeway to “rubberneck” an accident - you know you shouldn’t
watch, but you can’t help yourself. So after a segment on a NYC
street where a young African American male yelled at a nave
southern girl about racism, I was hooked.
Which led to further voyeurism with casts from LA to Chicago,
San Francisco to Austin, Honolulu to New Orleans, Paris to
Boston, another trip to New York, and cast reunion shows in
between.
I worked hard to hide my habit. When people found out I actually
KNEW who Puck, Montana, Genesis, Mike “the Miz,” and Cameron
were, I told them that I was watching the Real World merely as
“research” because I worked with young people, and therefore
should be “hip” to what they were watching. I don’t think they
bought it, particularly since I had no idea who or what a Shaggy
or Fifty Cent were. But it was my story, and I stuck to it!
I did pride myself in that the fact that I only watched the
first two seasons of MTV’s Road Rules and then quit, cold
turkey, and never watched another one. And over the years, while
still hiding my Real World addiction from most people, I managed
to feel a sense of moral superiority because I didn’t succumb to
the Millionaire Wedding show on FOX, like “other” people did. Or
Temptation Island, for goshsakes! I did have SOME standards. Not
many, but some!
But then a little show named Survivor came along, and that was
my downfall.
I mean, deep down I didn’t really WANT to see Richard prancing
around naked on that island, and I really didn’t need to see
Michael go after that pig like he was acting out “Lord of the
Flies.” I didn’t want to see an eleven mile trek through a
rainforest that brought strong men to their knees and caused
their eyes to roll back in their heads. And I didn’t want to see
Johnny Fairplay lie about his grandmother’s death. But I
couldn’t tear my eyes away.
So I justified the monkey on my back by feeling redeemed when
Lex went to the AIDS hospital in Africa, or when I learned about
the culture of the native people of Palau. And I rationalized
that I wasn’t really wasting my time with mindless drivel - I
was learning important survival skills should I ever be lost in
the middle of Australia or shipwrecked on a deserted island! I
was learning how to make a fire with a stick and rock, how
survive on corn mush and coconuts, which all might come in handy
some day. Survivor was a public service, by god!
But the problem was that Survivor led to Big Brother. Hanging
head in shame. Yes, it’s true, my Reality TV proclivity was
so bad that not only did I live through Lip-Gloss Jamie and
Chicken George in the first household, much to my shame I even
watched the “worst than the first” second household.
And every season since.
Of course, after watching Nicole, Will, and Monica pee on a
waterbed while trying to become Head of House one week, I knew I
had hit the Reality TV gutter and vowed never to watch again.
But I fell off the wagon the next week when I was back watching
them vote off Hardy, and I deluded myself into thinking I didn’t
have a problem because at least I hadn’t signed up to pay to
watch it 24 hours a day via the Internet - at least not until I
got a faster internet connection…
They say the first step in rehabilitation is to admit you have a
problem, and that you are powerless over it. But I don’t know.
Just because on Mondays I watch the “Real World/Road World
Gauntlet,” followed by “The Amazing Race” (yes, even the stupid
Family version that thankfully just ended) on Tuesdays, “The
Apprentice Martha Stewart” on Wednesdays, plus “Survivor” and
“The Apprentice: Donald Trump” on Thursdays doesn’t mean I have
a problem. Does it? I mean, it’s not like I watch Reality TV
EVERY night, you know?
Oops, gotta go, the new season of American Idol is about to come
on!
